i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
