I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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