I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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