tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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