So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I lost the right to judge tonight
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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