just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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