Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
