I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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