First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
