You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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