Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I want to make a zoo with you.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
