I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
