Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
