I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
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Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
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Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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