So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Even my vagina gasped.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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