At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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