i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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