every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
