I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
