I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
