Will you blow on my dice?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
