Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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