I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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