Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
