I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
