I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
