tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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