she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
