Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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