just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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