it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
