just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
