even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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