why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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