dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
