he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
