if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
third nipple confirmed
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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