No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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