I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Your penis caused this!
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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