Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
