im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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