I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
