Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
