I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
where am i from again
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
