True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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