Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
