Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
