She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I checked into jail on foursquare
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
