i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
