I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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