What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I have aggressive nipples.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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