We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
