The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
