Princesses don't give blow jobs
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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