turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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