i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
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i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
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Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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