Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
