Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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