Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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