Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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