like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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