I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
