I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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